I have now been in Thailand since Wednesday last week and I have been in Nong Khai for seven days today. I should have posted earlier but my experience here has not been what I expected it to be. Isara is a lovely organization, although I don’t seem to have much in common with the other volunteers and I have even felt unfairly treated by a few of them.
I can’t make up my mind whether to leave or not. I like the children, but as an unhappy volunteer I can’t deliver as a teacher and children sense when something is wrong. I keep telling myself to give it some time, but I’ve gave it a week already, and when I think about it one week of being said is one week to much. It is sad though, that the ones one is surrounded by have such a strong effect on ones well being and mental state of mind. I wish I could let things go over my head and put all my energy in to spending time and teach the kids. But it is not that simple. I spend so few hours with the children and the rest of the time I don’t know what to do, as I feel like an outsider when with the others that stay at the centre.
Maybe I’m being over sensitive. Maybe not. If i decide not to stay; Where will I go? I would want to go to Pai. But Pai is cooler than normal for the season. It drops down to 10 degrees at late night, and when daytime temperatures reach 35, that drop feels freezing. Been there, done that. So option two would be to go down south? Paradise Island or a visit to Nong on Koh Chang. Koh Chang and high season doesn’t feel tempting so I probably will go to my paradise Island to start with. Then I might go to Pai when temperatures rises a little night time. Anyhow…I’m just speculating about what to do, if I don’t want to stay here.
Not everything has been bad. I met several interesting people and not to forget the food. Extremely cheap and so, so yummy. The kids are adorable, both here at the centre and at the government schools where we teach. Today I and Buck had an art class together and tomorrow me and a former volunteer are going to teach a class with recycling theme at Banon Jaeng School.
I will update again in a few days, when I probably feel more sure about what to do.