I can’t help to wonder if I have taken on to much work. Being a double full time student and being a perfectionist at the same time is very tiring. The TEFL is going great though, although it takes a lot more of my time then I expected. Fine…I have until may to finish, so theoretical I am not in a hurry but I want to finish before I go to Thailand the 31st of January. Not a biggie if I only had the TEFL course but I have a very time consuming Tourism course to battle with as well.
I kind of have to give myself the right to say “well done Malin” even though I had a slighter breakdown last night. Here I am, in Liverpool, I don’t know anybody except for my boyfriend who is either in uni or working almost everyday, which leaves me to be on my own most of the time. Not to forget I lived in Spain for 3,5 years, and travelled most of the time since 2006, and have been having a very social and interesting life, being a lot outdoors…blablabla. And NOW I am lonely and spend most of my days inside, feeding the ducks in the park a few times a week (weekly highlight). Still I manage to get super good result on my uni work and score very high on my TEFL modules, even though I am feeling very depressed and frustrated.
Moving to Liverpool was not a good idea as it is kind of breaking me down. Having an ordinary northern European lifestyle does not work for me. I tried to get to know people. I have been going to the Buddhist centre twice or even three times a week, stayed for chats, trying to socialize, but I only manage to meet for a coffee with one woman so far. In 2,5 months. The good things arising from this misery is that I am more certain now which kind of life I don’t want, and I feel more determined to change myself and my life and make it more meaningful. Although…my impatience makes it very difficult.
Lets talk about the TEFL course. It is very helpful. I have so far completed 4,5 modules, written a lot of essays and can write different kinds of Lesson Plans. I know which kind of learnings styles students have, which kind of teaching approaches are most suitable for different kinds of classes and so forth. At first I thought: “Oh shit! It seems so difficult to be a teacher. There is so much to think about”. But now when a lot of what I learned is starting to sink it, make sense, and when I am starting to be able to connect one thing with another, I feel more confident. I seriously don’t understand why many say that online TEFL courses are rubbish.
Apart from all this, I am trying to work out a few future plans. I feel I need to have a few backup plans unless my regular plan doesn’t work out.
In tourism course we are studying Nature Tourism and Eco Tourism at the moment. I was really looking forward to that course but I am quite disappointed as the teachers responsible for this module are focusing on Swedish Eco Tourism. A weird approach as many students are living abroad and the assignments include small essays where we have to do research on our home towns, interviewing Swedish authorities. Next module is writing a bigger project and I hope I will be able to do something about Volunteer tourism.